Starting your family can be a time of tremendous joy. We might expect to have some anxieties about the unknowable future, but by and large we expect to be happy and fulfilled by the process. When things go wrong it can be shocking and wildly emotional. Things "going wrong" can vary from trouble getting pregnant to overwhelming feelings about being pregnant to miscarriage and stillbirth. Each of these have a multitude of variations within them. The important thing is that faced with these circumstances your world can turn upside down. Dealing with the disappointments, profound loss, sadness, fear, and anger are some of the concerns we can work through in therapy.

In seeing individuals and couples facing these issues I often hear that prior to coming in there are tremendous feelings of being strangely detached and/or profoundly depressed. There is often a sense of isolation and numbness because the sadness and/or anxiety are just too huge to deal with. Sometimes there is also an overwhelming feeling of rage and failure.There can be a sense of being cut off from what once seemed to be a world you belonged to, and now you stand alone. It may make you feel terrible to see others with babies and children. It may be you have your baby, but feel like you are having an awful time connecting with him or her. You might feel sad all the time, or disconnected, and may even resent your baby. You may feel terribly ashamed. Suffering alone and in hiding never help. Left to the machinations of our own minds we often lead ourselves down roads that go from bad to worse!

Psychotherapy will help you reconnect with yourself, your partner/spouse, and your life. The challenges in life that we face are intinsic to life itself, and yet it takes skill, flexibility, mindfulness, and connectedness to negotiate them. When we think month after month that now, finally, a baby is coming only to find out, no, a baby is not coming, can be so profoundly depressing and discouraging. When we find out we are pregnant, the love affair begins and all the wonderful fantasies about boy vs. girl, names, eye color, which schools will they attend, etc....begin to brew. When miscarriage happens, whether you are in your first trimester or your last trimester, the loss can be devestating. In your mind this lost baby has already had a life with you, and now it is gone, lost. These thoughts and feelings are not crazy or abnormal, but they can certainly make you feel crazy!  Talking will help. Giving voice to your thoughts and feelings will help in ways you may not now be able to imagine, but after an initial consultation you will begin to feel better. You will lead the way, I will listen, you will listen, and together we will experience your world. We will work to unite your unconcious and conscious realms of thought, and you will heal.

If you are struggling with fertility problems, have had a miscarriage or miscarriages, have lost a baby, have a sick baby, are having difficulties with bonding or nursing, have postpartum 'blues', and the list goes on (unfortunately), please do not hesitate to call for a consultation.